What Happens If I Don’t Know What I Want Yet?

One of the biggest myths about coaching is that you need to come in with a clear, specific goal, such as:

• “I want to build more confidence.”
• “I want to change careers.”
• “I want to launch a business.”

But here’s the truth: You don’t need to know exactly what you want to start coaching.

In fact, many people begin the coaching journey because they don’t know what they want; they just know something’s off, something’s missing, or something needs to change. If that’s you, you’re in the right place.

Let’s talk about how coaching helps when you’re not sure what you want and why that’s actually the perfect place to begin.

The Feeling That Brings Most People to Coaching

It often sounds like this:

• “I don’t hate my life, but I don’t love it either.”
• “Something’s off, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
• “I feel like I’m drifting.”
• “I’ve achieved a lot, but I still feel empty.”
• “I just want to feel more me again.”

This is what we’ll call the fog phase. You’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re simply in transition, and you haven’t named what’s next yet. That’s where coaching shines.

Coaching Helps You Find the Want Beneath the Fog

A skilled coach won’t pop the question “What’s your goal?” and wait for you to spit it out on cue.
Instead, they’ll help you:

• Explore the quiet truth beneath your overthinking
• Reconnect with your values and desires
• Notice where your life feels misaligned
• Get curious about the pull you can’t explain
• Uncover what you’ve been afraid to want

You don’t need to name your destination perfectly. You just need to follow the thread.

What the Process Looks Like (When You’re Not Clear Yet)

Here’s how coaching supports you when you’re unsure what you want:

1. Emotional Inventory

You’ll reflect on what currently feels:

• Draining
• Energizing
• Mis-aligned
• Forgotten
  This step helps you begin to separate what’s true from what’s been expected.

2. Values Discovery

You’ll explore what genuinely matters to you, not just what your job/culture/family told you should matter.
When your values come into focus, your decisions start making sense.

3. Pattern Disruption

You’ll identify where you’re on autopilot:

• Saying yes when you mean no
• Ignoring what your body or intuition is telling you
• Staying busy to avoid sitting in discomfort
  Coaching helps you interrupt those loops with intention.

4. Visioning Through Feeling (Not Just Strategy)

Often, a goal doesn’t start as a sentence. It starts as a sensation.
You’ll ask things like:

• “How do I want to feel?”
• “What does ‘ease’ feel like in my body?”
• “Where in my life do I already feel how I want to feel more often?”

That’s how vision forms, from the inside out.

5. Experimentation + Action

Once you get hints of clarity, coaching invites you to:

• Test small changes
• Follow your curiosity
• Take low-stakes steps that teach you what’s right

You don’t need to commit to a full reinvention. You just need to start moving.

Real Client Example: Maya

Maya arrived, saying, “I don’t know what I want. I just know this isn’t it.”
She was tired, numb, and stuck in a high-paying job that drained her. Within four sessions, she:

• Identified her top values (freedom, creativity, impact)
• Realized her job offered none of them
• Started painting again after a 10-year break
• Began exploring entrepreneurship, something she’d secretly wanted for years

By the end of three months, she didn’t just know what she wanted; she believed she could have it.

Coaching Helps You Remember What You Want

Here’s what’s often true about “not knowing” what you want:
You do know. You’ve just buried it beneath:

• Other people’s expectations
• Past disappointments
• Fear of failure
• Fear of wanting too much
• Fear of what you might lose if you go for it

Coaching helps you clear that noise so your real voice can speak again.

“But What If I Never Figure It Out?”

You will. Not because someone hands you the answer, but because you’ll finally have the space, support, and tools to hear yourself clearly. Clarity doesn’t arrive all at once. It builds moment by moment as you move closer to your truth.

And there’s research showing that coaching works even when goals aren’t fully clear yet. A 2025 study found that coaching outcomes improved regardless of whether clients entered with fully defined goals. (SpringerLink)

Final Thoughts

Not knowing what you want isn’t a problem. It’s a signal.

A sign you’re waking up. That you’re ready for something more. That you’re no longer willing to settle for “fine.”

You don’t need to map out the next five years. You just need to say yes to the next honest step.
That’s exactly what coaching helps you do.

Ready to Get Clear on What You Really Want?

Let’s talk. I offer a free discovery call to help you explore where you are, what’s been feeling “off,” and whether coaching could help you uncover what’s next. No pressure. No perfect goal needed. Just space to begin.

[Book Your Free Coaching Discovery Call →]